Http Iblp.Org Questions How-Can-Wife-Help-Preserve-Her-Marriage
If your marriage is on the rocks, you’re probably prone to direct all your attention to the signs that point to it being… over. But what about taking the time to consider all of the things which indicate that you have a possibility? Http Iblp.Org Questions How-Can-Wife-Help-Preserve-Her-Marriage
“While some marriages end because both spouses want out, many troubled marriages have a partner who wants to save the marriage,” says Joe Beam, PhD, the founder and chair of Marriage Helper, adding that if there is someone still fighting for the marriage, there’s hope that love could be revived. “If you have got a personal belief and value system which motivates one to complete what you start — particularly in case you believe marriage is a lifelong devotion –that’s a sign things may appear.”
Rachel Russo, a New York City-based dating and relationship specialist with over ten decades of experience as a matchmaker and dating coach, and a Master’s Degree in marriage and family therapy, states being current and self-aware shows you that the gifts you are alsomaking into the unsatisfying relationship dynamic. “Coming to terms with your defects –and most of us have them–means there is a good deal of hope,” Russo says. “Rather than merely blaming your partner, you are able to recognize your ideas and behaviors that are problematic and work on changing them. You develop empathy for your partner when you understand how you hurt them. Empathy can help you to find and keepbetter the love.”
Here are the signs your marriage still has a shot.
1. YOU KNOW YOU AREN’T THE PERFECT WIFE.
Do not worry, this is a fantastic thing based on Amy Spencer, writer of Http Iblp.Org Questions How-Can-Wife-Help-Preserve-Her-Marriage
3. YOU CHEATED AND THE GRASS WASN’T GREENER.
“Infidelity is not the conclusion of the marriage or the relationship,” states April Masini, a dating expert and author of novels such as Romantic Date Ideas, such as hot”at home” dates and fail-proof seduction secrets. She says if both people in the relationship actually want things to work — despite feeling depressed, betrayed or angry — it can be gained. “The most important thing to consider is that the majority of infidelities are a symptom of a problem in the relationship. They do not mean something is wrong with the man who cheated or whoever was cheated . When couples can see infidelity as a relationship problem, they’re more likely to have the ability to work on the relationship and go the distance.”
4. YOU BOTH RECOGNIZE FAMILY IS FIRST.
“The strongest portion of any family is wanting to commit the little daily minutes together, like going for ice cream or to the playground,” says Spencer. She isn’t saying stay together for the kids, but she’s suggesting you think twice before you file the divorce papers, dividing the family. Spencer says ask yourself these questions: Do you still enjoy doing things together as a family? Can you find that doing things with the kids but with no husband leaves you unhappy? “If you really enjoy spending time together as a family unit, perhaps that unit is well worth keeping together.”
5. YOU STILL GO ON DATES.
Yes, life is hectic. Between work, home-life and keeping tabs on your child’s social calendar, sometimes it’s really much easier to crash on the couch and watch TV while your husband drinks beers back. But do not do this, advises Leah Klungness, Ph.D., a psychologist in New York. Falling to a dateless marriage can put a damper on the roles you perform to each other — husband and wife. “If you still make time for’couple time’ with no kids, you’re on to something. “Maybe glamorous restaurants aren’t quite at the budget, but planning activities minus the children means you need to connect — just the two of you. This is terrific.”
6. YOU FEEL SAFE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS WITH YOUR SPOUSE.
Irrespective of what is happening in your marriage, you still know in your heart which you can speak with your spouse about how you feel. “All of us crave acceptance for who we really are,” says Beam. “Not pretending to be what another individual wants us to be is crucial. If both folks continue to offer another security to be transparent without rejection or judgment, their connection is very vulnerable to being rescued,” says Beam.
7. YOU THINK OF YOURSELVES AS A TEAM.
“Couples who think of themselves as a group, are a lot more likely to stay together,” says Beam. “It’s healthy that they see themselves as self explanatory people, but if they also have a shared identity (we, us) that they are far more likely to realize that they have within themselves the dedication to work things out.”
8. YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX. Http Iblp.Org Questions How-Can-Wife-Help-Preserve-Her-Marriage
When things are rocky, having sex or doing acts that pleasure your spouse are not necessarily in the cards. However, even if you’re not in the mood right now, there’s hope in case that you really still want to connect carefully, according to Rachel Russo. She says needing to have sex even when you’re fighting a connection, shows that you are deeply bonded to your spouse. “If it appears unnatural to withhold sex even when things are rugged, it might indicate that you are considering what’s best for the relationship in the long term,” says Russo. “If you don’t want to deprive your marriage of their intimate relationship, it is a sign that you truly care about each other and want to make the marriage work.”
9. MEMORIES ARE AT THE FOREFRONT OF YOUR MIND.
That time you did tequila shots and went skinny dipping. The awesome sangria you shared in Spain on your honeymoon. The first time your palms touched reaching popcorn in the movie theater. Memories that make you smile and remember the good times — these are things worth holding onto, according to Russo. “Great memories are the adhesive that can hold a relationship together,” she says. “When things are tough, people have a tendency to look back on all of the fantastic times with their spouse and feel hopeful they can return to this happy place.” Russo says it’s critical to zone in on how loved you felt previously. “Get motivated to work hard on the connection to bring all those good feelings back and create new memories.” Http Iblp.Org Questions How-Can-Wife-Help-Preserve-Her-Marriage